Family Quilt

My dear family delights in how often they can make me cry - which these days doesn't take much more than a hug ! But they are all in big trouble this time. Don't ask me how these acts of kindness constitute trouble - but they just keep insisting on doing more and more until I feel so undeserving of all they do for me that I just melt into a puddle. They all went way over the top this time handcrafting this beautiful, incredibly soft quilt. Each piece of the quilt including the back is made of the softest fabric in the whole world! Each family designed a square which Kathie then embroidered on her sister-in-law's machine, bundled up the whole kit and caboodle and sent it to Colorado for Wendy to piece together. Many hours of blood, sweat and tears went into it's making and many more tears of gratitude will be shed as I wrap myself in their love in the months to come.

Elder Wirthlin in his general conference address said: "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." Whatever small pittance I may have paid as a mother of ten, whatever lost sleep there may have been, whatever tears and heartache, whatever running to and fro and endless hours of driving the van around town - I can testify with Elder Wirthlin that the Lord has truly compensated me a hundredfold with the blessing of my children!

1st Day of Chemo

Mom had her first round of chemo this morning. I'll let her post about it later, but just thought I'd post this picture of her when we showed her pictures of all her sons & sons-in-law who went bald to show their support and solidarity for her. (She is supposed to lose all her hair in the next 2 weeks) The boys are all ranting and raving about their new styles (or lack of them) and who knows, maybe they'll just love the ease of care and never grow it back!

I was so touched by these great men in my life who are willing to do this for me I couldn't help but shed a few tears - even little Jacob (and later Jackson) shaved his head in support of his Grandma! I can only hope I look as good as my handsome sons and sons-in-law in bald. I'd better keep my hats and wigs on! Don't want to scare the little ones.

So far the drugs are working great - I'm feeling a little tired but have had no nausea - a little heartburn that's been easily controlled. Days 3-6 are supposed to be the worst - this is day 3 and I still feel pretty good! Tomorrow I go back in for the shot of Nuelasta to keep the white cell count up - that comes with its own aches and pains but again they have something to help with that. Compared to what chemo therapy used to be - this is so much easier than I ever thought it would be (and yes, I know its not over yet - but I shall be grateful for every blessing that is mine while it lasts!)

Had a few days of feeling really tired and not wanting to do much, but then started back up the road to feeling better rather quickly after that. I'm pretty shaky, but I feel good and am walking again a couple rounds of the mall with my buddy Janice - don't know what I'd do without her to keep me going and trying to stay active! We've walked the mall now for going on 20 years. That's what I call a friend!

Angels Among Us

I so much enjoyed general conference last weekend - it seemed every other talk was directed at my every need. Elder Holland spoke of angels and how they have always administered to those of us on the earth in every dispensation of time. He said: "I have spoken here of heavenly help, of angels dispatched to bless us in time of need. But when we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods. Some of them gave birth to us, and in my case, one of them consented to marry me. Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind." I have been the recipient of so many angels in these recent weeks. The day of my first chemo treatment I was pretty wiped out, I came home and wrapped myself in the beautiful blanket given to me by Brother & Sister Manuokafoa and took a wonderful nap. Such meaninful, well thought out letters and cards lift my spirits, and brownies, phone calls, and other tender mercies continue to come. Yesterday my sisters and brother-in-law presented me with a lap-top computer so that I could work from the comfort of the couch or bed or wherever I wanted to (my old computer is in pretty sad shape). Wendy put together a chemo bag for me with games and treats and evertything you could think of to ease that 5 hours - including a Magnavox tune player which their neighbors so generously donated. My sister Karen also gave me an Itune shuffle for my birthday - that has been wonderfful to listen to when I have a hard time falling asleep. I cannot thank all of you enough for your day in and day out care and concern. You are all angels in every sense of the word and I am so grateful for your love and support!

Shoppin' for Hair!

The other day we went to the American Cancery Society to look for wigs with Mom. The boys (Sam, Heidi's 4 year old and Jack my 3 year old) were very rowdy (shocking huh???) so the lady, who was totally awesome, she was so patient and kind, had them try on some wigs to keep them from tearing the place apart. Some of these things were HORRIFIC and some were just hysterical. The boys thought it was awesome.

This is one looked really great on Mom. The boys on the other hand.... YIKES!

And here we have these silly girls totally rockin' it 80's style with some TOTALLY RADICAL mullets!

And here's Sam, finally one of her kids has the right color hair!

Back to Reality

After the wonderful trip to Disneyland, I came back and finally had the PET scan done (no results as yet - it will show if the cancer has spread to areas other than the pluera) (We have had some serious issues with the scheduling of tests it seems) and then had the port catheter put in. I'm still supposed to have a bone scan and a chest x-ray.

I seem to live literally between priesthood blessings. While in Disneyland I was having so much fun playing with my little grandchildren and enjoying their hugs and laughter that I got really sad at the thought of not having those little arms around my neck - so I asked my son for a blessing - it lifted me out of the pit again - he encouraged me to attend the temple as often as I could - he said it would be the best prozac I could take! I did go to the temple on Tuesday - and then asked Steve for a blessing the night before the chemo treatments began. (I've just tried to give each of my sons and son-in-law's an opportunity to be voice during the blessings)- I hope the Lord doesn't mind me bothering Him so much - but I feel His power and it makes me capable of doing what I need to do.

DISNEYLAND!!!!!

Charity, Emily, Me and Darlene. . .having a blast!
The tortilla factory gave you a dozen tortillas if you were wearing your birthday badge. Needless to say, we wore them for five days and visited the tortilla factory every day. I do believe Scott wins the contest for eating the most.

Most of the gang in front of Tom Sawyer's Island.

Matthew, Zachary and Jeremy got picked to become Jedi's in training and fight Darth Vader - poor Sam (the youngest) did not get picked and was in tears for the whole ceremony. What an unforgetable experience.

Can you tell we're having fun?

Dar and I hanging out waiting for the Toy Story Parade.

It was awesome and wet!

Dar and I being really brave on Heimlich's roller coaster in bugs land!

All of California Adventure and Disneyland were decked to the hilt for Halloween - including stalks of corn growing candy corn, candy corn squash, even candy corn cactus.

Look at all the scary bugs!!

Sam and I off on our scary adventure to find the Yeti!

21 of us dining at the Blue Bayou for mine and Amy's birthday! If a dream is a wish your heart makes - then mine came true! Thank you to my family, my work family and friends for making this trip possible!! I felt great for the whole trip and it lifted my spirits immensely!