Funeral Plans

Viewing

Wednesday, October 7

5 pm to 8 pm

Hansen Mortuary & Chapel

8314 North 7^th Street

(on 7^th Street, south of Dunlap)

Funeral

Thursday, October 8th

LDS Chapel 3601 E. Shea Blvd

Service at 11:00am

Viewing from 9-10:30am

To the newspaper

Ruth Stander Bowler, beloved wife, mother of 10, grandmother of 32, sister, daughter and dear friend passed away peacefully in her sleep Monday morning, October 4th. Ruth was born and raised in Brigham City, Utah, the oldest daughter of William and Doris Stander. She attended Box Elder High School. She graduated from LDS Business College in SLC, during which time she met her husband of 43 years, Charles Bowler at a church dance. Raising 6 boys and 4 girls gave her plenty of material with which to blackmail her children, but she could never bring herself to hold any of her arsons or curfew violators accountable for their “crimes”. Known best of all for her humility and selfless love, Ruth was not one to complain or gossip. Instead, her kind words and constant friendship were monumental in the effect they had on all who knew her. She was and is the strength behind her 10 children, and the kindest confidant and most constant friend to all she met. She was diagnosed with Mesothelioma in Aug 2008, and after patiently and valiantly dealing with the treatments, pain, and loss of health, she was able to leave this world amidst an outpouring of love, song and words of comfort from her family and friends as all gathered to express their love and appreciation for the quiet but deep influence she had on their lives. Words cannot express how deeply Ruth was loved, but her testimony of and love for Jesus Christ burns brightly in the hearts of her husband, children, in-laws, and grandchildren and assures that her Spirit will always remain. “We love you, Ruth, and look faithfully forward to the day when we shall surely meet again.” There will be two viewings, one on Wednesday October 7th from 5 to 8 PM at the Hansen Funeral home at 8314 N 7th Street and the other on Thursday October 8th from 9:00 – 10:30 a.m. at the LDS church on 3601 E Shea Blvd. The funeral will be held on Thursday, October 8th at 11 a.m. at the LDS church on 3601 E Shea Blvd. In celebration of her life, we respectfully request that attendees wear light colors to these events. Interment will follow at Hansen Memorial Garden at 6500 E. Bell Rd in Scottsdale.

A Peaceful Farewell

Mom went on to be with her loved ones early this morning. We had a very peaceful, love-filled evening together as a family---sitting quietly, singing, reminiscing and just being together. After she passed this morning, there is such an amazing spirit in this home-somthing that is hard to put into words. It is so peaceful. We are so grateful that she gave us each other and know that she will continue to watch over us. We are grateful for the love that has been shown by all of you--for your prayers, your kind words, and your love. Thank you. We will post again as soon as funeral plans are finalized.

Sunday Morning

We have treasured the past couple of days being together as family and being close to Mom. She has been sleeping most of the time with a few moments of being alert. She will give you a squeeze if you hold her hand --which I don't think has been let go of yet. She is comfortable and we continue to cherish the time we have. Words cannot express the appreciation and love we feel for all of you. We feel of your love and draw strength from your prayers. Thank you!

Precious Moments

We just wanted to put a quick update to let you know of Mom's status. She was admitted to the hospital yesterday morning when she came in for her regular appt. The past week she has continued to feel rotten and has felt worse each day. They put her on IV antibiotics thinking that it was more pneumonia. The lung Dr. came in today and confirmed that it is not pneumonia but that the cancer has spread to both lungs. Her left lung really isn't functioning at all and her right lung is full of inflammation from the cancer as well. He said that there really isn't anything else to do and they are sending her home tonight with hospice. They started giving her morphine which has helped with her comfort and they will continue to make her as comfortable as they can. Mom is still coherent and enjoying time with family. It is hard for her to talk very much because of the oxygen mask and she gets winded very easily. We appreciate so much all of the love and support that we feel and know that the Lord will continue to help us all through this difficult time. All of her children will be here by tonight and we will spend however long He gives us with her. The Dr. said it could be anywhere from hours to days. We are very sad to say good-bye but are ready for her to be at peace and be done suffering. It's been a very emotional day. We will try to keep you updated.

Parting with Pneumonia

Apparently isn't very easy to do! The xray today (September 23) showed a big improvement in the right lung but the left side is still "full of crap". Even the radiologist can't tell if it's from pneumonia, cancer or scarring from radiation. Dr. Nixon did not prescribe another antiobiotic until they take another xray next week - it's a balancing act between killing the bad guys and building immunity to antiobiotics. Dr. Nixon wants me to take a metronomic chemo called cytoxan. It is an old chemo drug being used in a new way. You take a small dose in a pill daily instead of a big mega dose all at once. Dr. Nixon has used it on four of his own patients there at CTCA and has good results with each of them. It supposedly has very little or no side effects. It has not been tested on mesothelioma patients, so I will be a guinea pig. They will know in about 4-6 weeks if it is doing the job of cutting off the blood supply to the cancer cells. If the cytoxan works then they will add Celebrex, which is normally used for arthritis, but it seems it helps with this type of therapy as well. I must confess to being terribly nervous about this - even though everyone says there are no side effects (I heard that before starting radiation!!) I got a little emotional having been through chemo, then radiation, then recovering from radiation and then having pnuemonia and now trying a new drug - but I can quit any day I want to if there are side effects - so I really have nothing to lose. I'm feeling much better from the pneumonia, but my oxygen sats are still low so I'm tethered to the oxygen tank and still working on recovering from the pneumonia. Thank you for your prayers - I still need them until I'm safely on the other side! A special thank you to my babysitters this week for cleaning my house, rearranging furniture, driving to Timbuktu and doing my grocery shopping - you are so, so awesome!

UPDATE on XRAY RESULTS

With all the hoopla of the party, I neglected to let you know the results of the X-ray on the 3rd of September (follow-up to the CT scan on August 13th.) They found both lungs full of pneumonia. I was feeling pretty rotten and unable to breathe well (breathing is always a good thing), so at least it was nice to have an excuse for feeling poorly and that there is something they can do to treat it. I'm on antibiotics and oxygen full time since my oxygen stats were low. Until the pneumonia is resolved well, they still can't determine if there is any interstitial spread of the cancer in the left lung, but for now they know its an infection because it is in both lungs. I go back again for another x-ray on the 10th and then I'm leaving on the 11th for a trip to Lake Tahoe with my Dad, his wife, Jackie and my two sisters and one brother-in-law -- a tradition we had for many years and haven't done for a long time. I may have to take portable oxygen but I don't care - I'm going and they can't stop me!! I try to take all of these new adventures in stride - knowing that the Lord loves me and will help me through them all. Thank you for your continued faith and prayers - I feel your strength - especially when I'm in the temple!!

Finally! Pictures from the party!

If I ever thought my children were a challenge when they were young - you ought to see them now! They are forever trying to outdo themselves with kindnesses and service to their Mom. Once again, they brought me to tears by throwing an anniversary party just for the simple fact that I survived cancer for a year when I wasn't supposed to. Big deal - thousands of people do it all the time!

BUT, as usual, they were right and I was wrong because it was a wonderful, beautiful evening and a chance for me to thank in person so many people for their love and support and prayers over the last year. (Something I couldn't have done at a funeral). A time to celebrate friendships with those I hadn't seen in so long - and my children totally outdid themselves with decorations (it was like a wedding reception!) and other fun things as you can see in the slideshow. Kudos to a great team who pulled this off in a week: Steve, Heidi, David, Rachel, John, Rebecca, Kathie, Paul, Jennie & Wes and to the grandkids who helped too!

Thank you to all who came and helped make it such a special evening - thank you for your faith and prayers, thank you for your support and strength - thank you for the wonderful memories! I love you all! My life is richer because of each of you - especially my children, Kent, Mike, Scott, Heidi, David, John, Kathie, Wendy, Jennie, Jeff, their companions and each and every one of my 32 grandchildren!!

You're Invited to a Party for Mom/Ruth!

You are invited! Please join us to celebrate the 1 Year Anniversary of Ruth's battle with cancer. Please follow the link below for more information. Please forward this along to anyone that you know that might like to be there. It's going to be fun, and there'll be food, so what more could you ask for? Oh, and Ruth will be there! What a fun time for everyone to get together, share our gratitude for your support and love, and give you the opportunity to see Ruth if it's been a while.

http://www.evite.com/app/publicUrl/LCVMHQTEGTOEBSETSSLX/RuthsParty

Can't wait to see you there!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

One year and a few days ago, I was diagnosed with mesothelioma and given 6 months to 1 year to live. I'm happy to report that I lived the whole year - and with the new scan results received yesterday, the oncologists feel that I have 6 to 12 more to go!! It was a mixed result on the CT scan, nothing shrank more than a couple of milimmeters, but they feel they got excellent results from the radiation. I may have some radiation pneumonitis, or some spread of the tumors intersitially into the lung, but an X-ray will determine that next month.

So - I am staying with CTCA for now because I feel pretty darn good except for being very weak, easily tired and having fits of coughing and they (CTCA) want to continue to monitor for awhile. I know I've said it before, but though I would never choose this journey, I am so grateful for all I have experienced - and I do mean ALL of it! There have been sad times, joyful times, hard times, memories made that I wouldn't have missed for the world, times my family and friends rallied around to help me out of the pits, the countless miracles and tender mercies the Lord has poured out upon us and the things we have experienced, while not always easy, I think have changed us all for the better.

I must stand as a witness before my Heavenly Father of His constant goodness, His unfailing love and support, for blessing us with miracles, and for the Savior and His atonement which makes whole all of those broken things that we cannot mend by ourselves. I hope to prove worthy of His continued blessings - He is my Rock and the One who holds my life in His capable hands. I know He has a plan for me and for each of His children, designed to maximize the joy of this life and in the world to come.

Once again, as always, thank you, my beloved family and friends, my angels here on earth, for sustaining me with your faith and prayers.

IN-BETWEEN NOTE

I spent a couple of weeks with my kids in Colorado - although I felt pretty lousy, whether from the radiation, the high altitude or whatever, it was wonderful to see rain, to go up in the canyon and throw rocks in the river and make s'mores, to read an entire book from cover to cover and to be so pampered by loving family, to read books with the little ones and just enjoy the blessing of being together with those I love.

I saw the oncologist on the 15th, he told me I looked good on paper (he's pretty funny) meaning everything looked good including very low cancer markers. The CT scan is scheduled for the 4th of August and another follow up with the oncologist where we'll get some better answers a week later. In the meantime, my body is slowly recovering from its abuse and I'm feeling stronger every day. Following the appointment with the CTCA oncologist, I will be finished with CTCA and will probably go straight to hospice - it depends on what the scan shows. I have a bit of a hard time going to hospice since I feel so much better and somehow that feels like I'm giving up the fight just waiting around to die, but since we have decided on no further treatment, they are there to help you gain the most from the time you have left. Tune in a couple of weeks from now and see how everything plays out!

Once again I thank you all for your love and support, we're coming up on one year since this all began - and thanks to your faith, prayers, and support I'm still kicking away and SO GRATEFUL for the time I have had since being diagnosed with mesothelioma. I often wonder if it would be better to go quickly (like a car accident or something) or have time like I have had - although it has been a tough year for all of us, I would not trade the time I have had with my family and friends - it has been a blessing to me!

The End of Treatment - at Long Last

We finished the radiation treatments on Wednesday -- a few days before it was scheduled to be completed, but I was feeling so awful that to me whatever benefit there was to be had in those last few treatments were not worth having to climb back out of the hole they were putting me in. I can't explain in words what it's like to wake up in the morning and know that I don't have to see a doctor, have radiation, be poked, x-rayed, infused, or any other thing involved in the treatment of cancer! I will return to the oncologist on the 15th of July just for routine follow-up and then three weeks after that will come the moment of truth (the CT scan) to see if 21 days of radiation helped our quest to kill some of the little monsters.

I never did trust in the arm of flesh, but now science has done all they can do for me and I trust in the Lord completely for whatever time He sees fit to let me stay here. I feel like I have lots to do with finishing up my journals and writing a brief history of my sojourn here, but I'm quite sure there will never be enough hugs from grandchildren, missionaries sent into the field, beautiful girls in their wedding dresses, and time spent with those who mean the most to me, so I'll be grateful for what I can cherish on this side of the veil and continue to watch over my family from the other side when that time comes.

In the meantime, its time to cherish and enjoy every single day!! Your prayers have kept me in good health for 10 months -- kept me sane with your laughter, strength and service. You are, without doubt, the most awesome friends and family anyone could ever ask for!

A Few Tidbits

I am now almost half-way through the radiation treatments and praying for the strength to endure! The radiation oncologist decided to go ahead and treat the entire cancer area not just the lymph nodes. (This can be done with the tomotherapy radiation machine which targets the bad boys while sparing good tissue.) She felt this would give me a better chance at having a longer period of time without any further treatments. My family and I and the oncologist have decided against any further chemo therapy - it will lessen my quality of life without the promise of doing any good at all. The radiation is not unpleasant at all - it just zaps all my strength and leaves me with a cough that makes eating something less than desirable because of my dumb gag reflex. (Not to worry - I'm finding enough liquid things and soft foods to get the job done!) There is some residual pain in my lung, but easily treatable with over the counter meds. While this update might have tones of whining, please be assured that my life is in the Lord's hands and I am grateful for every experience which teaches me greater patience and greater trust in Him. My greatest goal for whatever remains of my life here on earth is to stand as a witness for Him and for His goodness to me and for the miracles which are part of my life. Those miracles have happeneded and continue to happen because of the faith and prayers of my beloved family and friends. I want the world to know how thankful I am for my children - they are my rock and have given up so much of their lives over the past nine months to take me everywhere I need to go and to serve me in every way they can think of. My life is rich because of friends I have made and the posterity with which I have been blessed.

Something New & Different

First - I had a wonderful trip to Women's Conference at BYU a couple of weeks ago with two of my daughters (and one daughter-in law - but I never consider any of my daughter-in-laws anything but daughters). It was a bit tiring but SO uplifting and inspiring. I even attended one class on dealing with cancer and long-term illnesses. It was so awesome and helped us to focus on HOW to deal with it not WHY and getting over all of the fears that we all have. We all came home with full buckets that were emptied rather quickly with being back in reality!

But on to the bigger news. I had two scans yesterday, another PET scan and a regular CT scan, and met with a new Dr. today (Dr. Nixon) since my regular doctor ended up having heart surgery and is out of commission for awhile. He was wonderful and I liked him immediately. The sort of bad news is that the chemo drugs I have been on have quit being useful after ten rounds. He said that was quite impressive that they worked for so long. The scans showed that the lymph nodes near my heart are enlarging (these can carry the cancer to other parts of my body - not good.) The good news is that these can be treated with radiation. The sort of bad news is that that will be five days a week for the next five weeks beginning Monday. I was marked and tatooed (whoopee my first tatoo!) today. The treatments are very short though but the trip out there every day is an hour long! After the radiation we will probably start more chemo therapy which will be greater in intensity and have more side effects. But as always, I am in the Lord's hands and trust in His continuing care for me and thank Him for each day he allows me to remain with my loving family and friends. I thank you once again for your continued faith and prayers - I am continually amazed at the power of those prayers! My gratitude for your love and concern are the subject of my prayers daily!

Hanging On

To all of you who follow my blog faithfully (all two of you :O) ) I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long. It has been a roller coaster of a ride for a month or so. There have been some serious issues with my oncologist that sent my daughters on a hunt for a new treatment facility. I have been fighting with depression especially during the week following chemo, so I was not much help. But due to the generosity of my family who were willing meet the difference in what my insurance will cover, I changed to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America. What a difference! These physicians not only know my name but meet with me every three weeks before chemo to discuss my treatment and how I'm doing and offer help with side effects, etc. They are a wonderful group of people. (I'm still nervous about costs, but since we have covered the basics, please don't feel the need to contribute to my "cause" any more - each of you has burdens of your own. I am SO appreciative of your kindness, prayers, and generosity that I cannot adequately express my feelings.

Each of these chemo treatments seems to leave me a little weaker and my stomach a little less tolerant, but these new physicians are helping with the neuropathy (numbness in hands and feet) and they are willing to give me some options of going longer between treatments (always watching the growth of the cancer with scans) so that my body has a chance to recover. I dread every treatment, but am trying to do my best to accept the Lord's will and to have a cheerful attitude. I have a quote pinned to my desk from Elder Holland that reads: "I testify that bad days come to an end, that faith always triumphs, and that heavenly promises are always kept." I believe those words!! I do feel much better by the time its time for the next treatment!!

May God continue to bless all of my angels. . you make it all worthwhile and keep me going with your love, faith and prayers!

MIRACLE AFTER MIRACLE!!

Tests results today showed, again, no spread of the tumors, in the in fact one of the lymph nodes near my heart has completely resolved (lymph nodes are notorious for carrying the cancer cells to other places in the body) and tumors in the left pleural space are diminished. The larger tumors near the diaphragm remain confined to the pleural space and have not increased in size and nothing has spread to the lung. These are miraculous results due to your faith and prayers and the power of priesthood blessings. I am forever in your debt as friends and family for making this extension of my life possible. I am amazed at the love that the Savior offers me and testify of his goodness and mercy and healing power. "He lives to comfort me when faint, He lives to hear my soul's complaint, He lives to silence all my fears, He lives to wipe away my tears, He lives and grants me daily breath, He lives and I shall conquer death! "

As I was reading scriptures the other day, I ran across this one in Isaiah 9:2:

"The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light, they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined." His light has surely shined on me!

I thank all of my 'heaven sent' angels for allowing me to be part of your lives and to be worthy of your faith and prayers. Thank heaven that miracles still exist on the earth today !

We move on with more chemo treatments in three weeks - had the 8th one today. I am also looking into other treatments at other facilities - we've heard of some other things being done for this type of cancer! In the meantime I'm taking two weeks for vacation from this endless cycle and going to visit my kids in Colorado!

A LIttle Perspective

I have now completed 3 more chemo treatments and will have another PET scan on Tuesday, March 3. I still appreciate more than words can say all of you awesome friends and family who continue to pray for me. As always, I pray that YOUR prayers will be answered along with mine but I know that the Lord loves me more than I can even imagine and so whatever happens will be part of His plan for me.

Last night for our stake Relief Society program, a young mother of four, who has been through more trials than I will ever see in my lifetime (including losing her husband in an automobile accident which also broke her neck, back, and ribs necessitating her leaving her four small children alone in a small rural hospital while she was flown to Phoenix) shared her story with us - along with some awesome music written by a friend of hers who played the guitar and sang.

One analogy she used was particularly powerful for me. She talked about planning a trip to Italy. You would spend months reading about it, studying maps, saving for the trip, learning at least a few key phrases so that you could communicate, planning the wonderful places you would visit - Rome, the Coliseum, the Vatican, the Italian alps, Venice, etc. You plan, prepare and pack and finally the day arrives that you board the plane and head off for the trip of a lifetime. When the plane lands, however, you find you are not in Italy at all, but Holland and that's where you will end up staying. At first you focus on all the people that actually got to go to Italy and its hard not to be jealous that they have seen the sights and been where you really wanted to go. As time goes on you can choose to see only those lucky people that have been to Italy, or, you might discover that Holland is a beautiful country, full of flowers and windmills and wonderful people. In other words, we can spend our entire lives focused on where we could not go, or we can appreciate all of the unique things the journey we had not planned on has brought to us.

One of the most important "gifts" of this journey I did not plan to take has been the "heaven sent" friends and the incredible support of my family. No one who has not taken a journey such as this one can truly appreciate what it means to have friends and family praying for me and feeling the power of those prayers and the faith they offer in my behalf - for the endless acts of service and caring that have been offered to me. For one who has always wanted to be the one doing the serving - I have also learned what a blessing it is to allow others to give of themselves - the increase in love I feel toward them is many fold what it would have been had I been the one serving them. You are all angels to me - indeed "heaven sent".

Wedding Bells and MORE Tender Mercies

My beautiful daughter Jennie was married on Monday, January 19th to Wesley Reese. It has been an ordeal for her. She had originally planned to be married in Cancun, Mexico in May but when I received the diagnosis of cancer in August, she had to scramble to change all of her plans because we didn't know at that time what my prognosis would be but it was important to her that her family be there with her. Fortunately she was able to get all of her money back from the resort in Cancun, and then began the frantic work to pull of a wedding in January. I'll be forever grateful that she (and many others of the family) were willing to put in all the extra effort so that I could participate in the wedding. It was so beautiful and Jennie blessed me with the honor of walking her down the asile and giving her to Wes.

(Me giving Jennie away)

As she walked down the stairs to meet me I was reminded how the Lord had tenderly placed her in my arms as an infant to care for and I now had the privilege of giving her life to Wes to protect and love her. The reception was such a fun event that it will long be remembered by the whole family.

(some of my grandkids having a good time at the reception)

I was feeling wonderful except for some superficial vein phlebitis in both legs which was pretty painful. The day before the wedding was the rehearsal and I was pretty miserable, but once again the Lord blessed me to be pain free the day of the wedding. He also blessed me with the energy to keep up with the preparations and bridal shower all within a few short days. He is truly a worker of miracles and bear witness again of His tender mercies.

There was another tender mercy - during the hub-bub of visitors to the house, my cat Cody got outside and disappeared. He's a wonderful companion for those horizontal days when I don't feel so well, and company for those days when I'm alone until Chuck gets home from work. I felt pretty badly, but once again the Lord came to my rescue and through the fasting and prayers of my sister Darlene - and the prayers of my family, he showed up again at the back door four days later. Another miracle!! I feel so unworthy of the Lord's goodness to me!!

A picture of me and Cody

ANSWERED PRAYERS (Addendum)

To my dear friends and family:

Words cannot express my gratitude tonight as I write this note. Test results today showed that there has been no spread whatsoever of the cancer. While the tumors did not diminish they remain confined (in their original size) to the pleural space of my left lung. For this type of aggressive cancer not to have spread is truly nothing short of a miracle!! When I saw the first oncologist in the hospital back in August, they gave me six months to a year to live. I have all ready made it through five months and between treatments I feel great. I thank you with all my heart for this wonderful blessing given to me through the tender mercies of the Lord, the power of priesthood blessings, and because of your faith and prayers in my behalf. I treasure each moment I am able to spend with my supportive, loving family and the incredible friends that the Lord has blessed me with! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!

We now go back to chemo treatments every three weeks - beginning tomorrow. There will be three more treatments and then another PET scan. I would be so grateful for your continued faith and prayers - I know the Lord hears and answers them!