A Peaceful Farewell

Mom went on to be with her loved ones early this morning. We had a very peaceful, love-filled evening together as a family---sitting quietly, singing, reminiscing and just being together. After she passed this morning, there is such an amazing spirit in this home-somthing that is hard to put into words. It is so peaceful. We are so grateful that she gave us each other and know that she will continue to watch over us. We are grateful for the love that has been shown by all of you--for your prayers, your kind words, and your love. Thank you. We will post again as soon as funeral plans are finalized.

Sunday Morning

We have treasured the past couple of days being together as family and being close to Mom. She has been sleeping most of the time with a few moments of being alert. She will give you a squeeze if you hold her hand --which I don't think has been let go of yet. She is comfortable and we continue to cherish the time we have. Words cannot express the appreciation and love we feel for all of you. We feel of your love and draw strength from your prayers. Thank you!

Precious Moments

We just wanted to put a quick update to let you know of Mom's status. She was admitted to the hospital yesterday morning when she came in for her regular appt. The past week she has continued to feel rotten and has felt worse each day. They put her on IV antibiotics thinking that it was more pneumonia. The lung Dr. came in today and confirmed that it is not pneumonia but that the cancer has spread to both lungs. Her left lung really isn't functioning at all and her right lung is full of inflammation from the cancer as well. He said that there really isn't anything else to do and they are sending her home tonight with hospice. They started giving her morphine which has helped with her comfort and they will continue to make her as comfortable as they can. Mom is still coherent and enjoying time with family. It is hard for her to talk very much because of the oxygen mask and she gets winded very easily. We appreciate so much all of the love and support that we feel and know that the Lord will continue to help us all through this difficult time. All of her children will be here by tonight and we will spend however long He gives us with her. The Dr. said it could be anywhere from hours to days. We are very sad to say good-bye but are ready for her to be at peace and be done suffering. It's been a very emotional day. We will try to keep you updated.

Parting with Pneumonia

Apparently isn't very easy to do! The xray today (September 23) showed a big improvement in the right lung but the left side is still "full of crap". Even the radiologist can't tell if it's from pneumonia, cancer or scarring from radiation. Dr. Nixon did not prescribe another antiobiotic until they take another xray next week - it's a balancing act between killing the bad guys and building immunity to antiobiotics. Dr. Nixon wants me to take a metronomic chemo called cytoxan. It is an old chemo drug being used in a new way. You take a small dose in a pill daily instead of a big mega dose all at once. Dr. Nixon has used it on four of his own patients there at CTCA and has good results with each of them. It supposedly has very little or no side effects. It has not been tested on mesothelioma patients, so I will be a guinea pig. They will know in about 4-6 weeks if it is doing the job of cutting off the blood supply to the cancer cells. If the cytoxan works then they will add Celebrex, which is normally used for arthritis, but it seems it helps with this type of therapy as well. I must confess to being terribly nervous about this - even though everyone says there are no side effects (I heard that before starting radiation!!) I got a little emotional having been through chemo, then radiation, then recovering from radiation and then having pnuemonia and now trying a new drug - but I can quit any day I want to if there are side effects - so I really have nothing to lose. I'm feeling much better from the pneumonia, but my oxygen sats are still low so I'm tethered to the oxygen tank and still working on recovering from the pneumonia. Thank you for your prayers - I still need them until I'm safely on the other side! A special thank you to my babysitters this week for cleaning my house, rearranging furniture, driving to Timbuktu and doing my grocery shopping - you are so, so awesome!

UPDATE on XRAY RESULTS

With all the hoopla of the party, I neglected to let you know the results of the X-ray on the 3rd of September (follow-up to the CT scan on August 13th.) They found both lungs full of pneumonia. I was feeling pretty rotten and unable to breathe well (breathing is always a good thing), so at least it was nice to have an excuse for feeling poorly and that there is something they can do to treat it. I'm on antibiotics and oxygen full time since my oxygen stats were low. Until the pneumonia is resolved well, they still can't determine if there is any interstitial spread of the cancer in the left lung, but for now they know its an infection because it is in both lungs. I go back again for another x-ray on the 10th and then I'm leaving on the 11th for a trip to Lake Tahoe with my Dad, his wife, Jackie and my two sisters and one brother-in-law -- a tradition we had for many years and haven't done for a long time. I may have to take portable oxygen but I don't care - I'm going and they can't stop me!! I try to take all of these new adventures in stride - knowing that the Lord loves me and will help me through them all. Thank you for your continued faith and prayers - I feel your strength - especially when I'm in the temple!!