To all of you who follow my blog faithfully (all two of you :O) ) I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long. It has been a roller coaster of a ride for a month or so. There have been some serious issues with my oncologist that sent my daughters on a hunt for a new treatment facility. I have been fighting with depression especially during the week following chemo, so I was not much help. But due to the generosity of my family who were willing meet the difference in what my insurance will cover, I changed to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America. What a difference! These physicians not only know my name but meet with me every three weeks before chemo to discuss my treatment and how I'm doing and offer help with side effects, etc. They are a wonderful group of people. (I'm still nervous about costs, but since we have covered the basics, please don't feel the need to contribute to my "cause" any more - each of you has burdens of your own. I am SO appreciative of your kindness, prayers, and generosity that I cannot adequately express my feelings.
Each of these chemo treatments seems to leave me a little weaker and my stomach a little less tolerant, but these new physicians are helping with the neuropathy (numbness in hands and feet) and they are willing to give me some options of going longer between treatments (always watching the growth of the cancer with scans) so that my body has a chance to recover. I dread every treatment, but am trying to do my best to accept the Lord's will and to have a cheerful attitude. I have a quote pinned to my desk from Elder Holland that reads: "I testify that bad days come to an end, that faith always triumphs, and that heavenly promises are always kept." I believe those words!! I do feel much better by the time its time for the next treatment!!
May God continue to bless all of my angels. . you make it all worthwhile and keep me going with your love, faith and prayers!
My Family - November 2008
I have a family here on earth; they are so dear to me. I want to spend my life with them through all eternity!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
MIRACLE AFTER MIRACLE!!
Tests results today showed, again, no spread of the tumors, in the in fact one of the lymph nodes near my heart has completely resolved (lymph nodes are notorious for carrying the cancer cells to other places in the body) and tumors in the left pleural space are diminished. The larger tumors near the diaphragm remain confined to the pleural space and have not increased in size and nothing has spread to the lung. These are miraculous results due to your faith and prayers and the power of priesthood blessings. I am forever in your debt as friends and family for making this extension of my life possible. I am amazed at the love that the Savior offers me and testify of his goodness and mercy and healing power. "He lives to comfort me when faint, He lives to hear my soul's complaint, He lives to silence all my fears, He lives to wipe away my tears, He lives and grants me daily breath, He lives and I shall conquer death! "
As I was reading scriptures the other day, I ran across this one in Isaiah 9:2:
"The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light, they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined." His light has surely shined on me!
I thank all of my 'heaven sent' angels for allowing me to be part of your lives and to be worthy of your faith and prayers. Thank heaven that miracles still exist on the earth today !
We move on with more chemo treatments in three weeks - had the 8th one today. I am also looking into other treatments at other facilities - we've heard of some other things being done for this type of cancer! In the meantime I'm taking two weeks for vacation from this endless cycle and going to visit my kids in Colorado!
As I was reading scriptures the other day, I ran across this one in Isaiah 9:2:
"The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light, they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined." His light has surely shined on me!
I thank all of my 'heaven sent' angels for allowing me to be part of your lives and to be worthy of your faith and prayers. Thank heaven that miracles still exist on the earth today !
We move on with more chemo treatments in three weeks - had the 8th one today. I am also looking into other treatments at other facilities - we've heard of some other things being done for this type of cancer! In the meantime I'm taking two weeks for vacation from this endless cycle and going to visit my kids in Colorado!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
A LIttle Perspective
I have now completed 3 more chemo treatments and will have another PET scan on Tuesday, March 3. I still appreciate more than words can say all of you awesome friends and family who continue to pray for me. As always, I pray that YOUR prayers will be answered along with mine but I know that the Lord loves me more than I can even imagine and so whatever happens will be part of His plan for me.
Last night for our stake Relief Society program, a young mother of four, who has been through more trials than I will ever see in my lifetime (including losing her husband in an automobile accident which also broke her neck, back, and ribs necessitating her leaving her four small children alone in a small rural hospital while she was flown to Phoenix) shared her story with us - along with some awesome music written by a friend of hers who played the guitar and sang.
One analogy she used was particularly powerful for me. She talked about planning a trip to Italy. You would spend months reading about it, studying maps, saving for the trip, learning at least a few key phrases so that you could communicate, planning the wonderful places you would visit - Rome, the Coliseum, the Vatican, the Italian alps, Venice, etc. You plan, prepare and pack and finally the day arrives that you board the plane and head off for the trip of a lifetime. When the plane lands, however, you find you are not in Italy at all, but Holland and that's where you will end up staying. At first you focus on all the people that actually got to go to Italy and its hard not to be jealous that they have seen the sights and been where you really wanted to go. As time goes on you can choose to see only those lucky people that have been to Italy, or, you might discover that Holland is a beautiful country, full of flowers and windmills and wonderful people. In other words, we can spend our entire lives focused on where we could not go, or we can appreciate all of the unique things the journey we had not planned on has brought to us.
One of the most important "gifts" of this journey I did not plan to take has been the "heaven sent" friends and the incredible support of my family. No one who has not taken a journey such as this one can truly appreciate what it means to have friends and family praying for me and feeling the power of those prayers and the faith they offer in my behalf - for the endless acts of service and caring that have been offered to me. For one who has always wanted to be the one doing the serving - I have also learned what a blessing it is to allow others to give of themselves - the increase in love I feel toward them is many fold what it would have been had I been the one serving them. You are all angels to me - indeed "heaven sent".
Last night for our stake Relief Society program, a young mother of four, who has been through more trials than I will ever see in my lifetime (including losing her husband in an automobile accident which also broke her neck, back, and ribs necessitating her leaving her four small children alone in a small rural hospital while she was flown to Phoenix) shared her story with us - along with some awesome music written by a friend of hers who played the guitar and sang.
One analogy she used was particularly powerful for me. She talked about planning a trip to Italy. You would spend months reading about it, studying maps, saving for the trip, learning at least a few key phrases so that you could communicate, planning the wonderful places you would visit - Rome, the Coliseum, the Vatican, the Italian alps, Venice, etc. You plan, prepare and pack and finally the day arrives that you board the plane and head off for the trip of a lifetime. When the plane lands, however, you find you are not in Italy at all, but Holland and that's where you will end up staying. At first you focus on all the people that actually got to go to Italy and its hard not to be jealous that they have seen the sights and been where you really wanted to go. As time goes on you can choose to see only those lucky people that have been to Italy, or, you might discover that Holland is a beautiful country, full of flowers and windmills and wonderful people. In other words, we can spend our entire lives focused on where we could not go, or we can appreciate all of the unique things the journey we had not planned on has brought to us.
One of the most important "gifts" of this journey I did not plan to take has been the "heaven sent" friends and the incredible support of my family. No one who has not taken a journey such as this one can truly appreciate what it means to have friends and family praying for me and feeling the power of those prayers and the faith they offer in my behalf - for the endless acts of service and caring that have been offered to me. For one who has always wanted to be the one doing the serving - I have also learned what a blessing it is to allow others to give of themselves - the increase in love I feel toward them is many fold what it would have been had I been the one serving them. You are all angels to me - indeed "heaven sent".
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Wedding Bells and MORE Tender Mercies
My beautiful daughter Jennie was married on Monday, January 19th to Wesley Reese. It has been an ordeal for her. She had originally planned to be married in Cancun, Mexico in May but when I received the diagnosis of cancer in August, she had to scramble to change all of her plans because we didn't know at that time what my prognosis would be but it was important to her that her family be there with her. Fortunately she was able to get all of her money back from the resort in Cancun, and then began the frantic work to pull of a wedding in January. I'll be forever grateful that she (and many others of the family) were willing to put in all the extra effort so that I could participate in the wedding. It was so beautiful and Jennie blessed me with the honor of walking her down the asile and giving her to Wes. 
(Me giving Jennie away)
As she walked down the stairs to meet me I was reminded how the Lord had tenderly placed her in my arms as an infant to care for and I now had the privilege of giving her life to Wes to protect and love her. The reception was such a fun event that it will long be remembered by the whole family.
(some of my grandkids having a good time at the reception)I was feeling wonderful except for some superficial vein phlebitis in both legs which was pretty painful. The day before the wedding was the rehearsal and I was pretty miserable, but once again the Lord blessed me to be pain free the day of the wedding. He also blessed me with the energy to keep up with the preparations and bridal shower all within a few short days. He is truly a worker of miracles and bear witness again of His tender mercies.
There was another tender mercy - during the hub-bub of visitors to the house, my cat Cody got outside and disappeared. He's a wonderful companion for those horizontal days when I don't feel so well, and company for those days when I'm alone until Chuck gets home from work. I felt pretty badly, but once again the Lord came to my rescue and through the fasting and prayers of my sister Darlene - and the prayers of my family, he showed up again at the back door four days later. Another miracle!! I feel so unworthy of the Lord's goodness to me!!
A picture of me and Cody
Thursday, January 1, 2009
ANSWERED PRAYERS (Addendum)
To my dear friends and family:
Words cannot express my gratitude tonight as I write this note. Test results today showed that there has been no spread whatsoever of the cancer. While the tumors did not diminish they remain confined (in their original size) to the pleural space of my left lung. For this type of aggressive cancer not to have spread is truly nothing short of a miracle!! When I saw the first oncologist in the hospital back in August, they gave me six months to a year to live. I have all ready made it through five months and between treatments I feel great. I thank you with all my heart for this wonderful blessing given to me through the tender mercies of the Lord, the power of priesthood blessings, and because of your faith and prayers in my behalf. I treasure each moment I am able to spend with my supportive, loving family and the incredible friends that the Lord has blessed me with! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!
We now go back to chemo treatments every three weeks - beginning tomorrow. There will be three more treatments and then another PET scan. I would be so grateful for your continued faith and prayers - I know the Lord hears and answers them!
Words cannot express my gratitude tonight as I write this note. Test results today showed that there has been no spread whatsoever of the cancer. While the tumors did not diminish they remain confined (in their original size) to the pleural space of my left lung. For this type of aggressive cancer not to have spread is truly nothing short of a miracle!! When I saw the first oncologist in the hospital back in August, they gave me six months to a year to live. I have all ready made it through five months and between treatments I feel great. I thank you with all my heart for this wonderful blessing given to me through the tender mercies of the Lord, the power of priesthood blessings, and because of your faith and prayers in my behalf. I treasure each moment I am able to spend with my supportive, loving family and the incredible friends that the Lord has blessed me with! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!
We now go back to chemo treatments every three weeks - beginning tomorrow. There will be three more treatments and then another PET scan. I would be so grateful for your continued faith and prayers - I know the Lord hears and answers them!
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